Quicksilver, Book one: Shattered Reality
by Firefrost and Flamepelt
Summary: I came by them on accident. I didn't try, but I was running for my life. Shatter and his Clan... good or bad, I don't know. I don't know anything, anymore. But something's coming. I dont'know what, something bad. My name? Oh, that. Silver. Call me Silver.
1. Quicksilver

Day: 3

Moon: 2

Season: 19

The war. That's all that matters to them. The war. Been going on for as long as _anyone_ could remember. They can remember one thing, it seems, and one thing only. They are your enemy. They will attack you, wound you, and leave you for dead. Who is they, you may ask? Well... you, actually. But they don't think they do those things... it's impossible for the to think that. Treasonous. It's impossible for them to be wrong. I think that's whatyou think, too. Just the same as they do. Now, what do I know about the war? The oldest of the elders can still remember the peace times. Not true peace, no... but when there was four Clans. ThunderClan, WIndClan, ShadowClan, and RiverClan. They worshiped their ancestors, I think. Yeah. Load of good it did them. And as for the cause of the war... they doh't remember, but popular opinion says that at a Gathering, which was when all four Clans gathered together in peace, ShadowClan and RiverClan broke their bonds to their ancestors. The two Clans then formed one, and they called themselves IvyClan. That's you, I belive.

Attacks were swift and brutal. IvyClan, as they were nicknamed, lead attacks into ThunderClan's and WIndClan's camps, which were all the prey was, and where everybody lived. We all live alone, now. Many cats were lost, and the prey was scattered. ThunderClan and WindClan formed an alliance under Onestar and Firestar, called just, The Clan. And under them, The Clan won many great victories against IvyClan, particularly at The River. The Clan was losing ground, and many cats were running. For a while, it seemed as if The Clan was going to lose. But, with a great roar, our current leader, Lionstar, then Lionblaze, leapt into battle. Like a symphony of claws, it was! Left and right, no matter where you looked, you couldn't see Lionblaze! You just saw a streak of fur, then, always, a pained shreik, and then a poor cat running away from the battle. So they say, that is. Needless to say, The Clan won the battle. Firestar, however, did not fare as well. Nor did the deputy, Brambleclaw. Both were old, and Firestar was on his last life. Now they both had none.

Lionblaze was elected leader, and became Lionstar. However, he was headstrong, and led The Clan into many battles. Battles they couldn't win. Slowly, they lost territory. And now, where it stands, they can barely feed their Clan. These were the events that lead up to the present. The Clan, it seems, is doomed. That's what you want me to tell you, isn't it? One more thing you want? What? Oh. My name, of course. My name is Silver. I am a hired cat, for a losing cause. Please, Lepoardstar, spare my life, and I can provide you with information. Clues. So that you can win quicker, with less bloodshed. Please.


	2. Seeing Red

Day: 5

Moon: 2

Season: 19

I can see Lepoardstar stalking towards me from my temporary place in the medicine cat den. That gait can only mean one thing; trouble. I've been in here two days since my embaressing plea for life, and she still hasn't decided. Poor, pathetic fool. But that thinking won't get me out of here. Time to act civil.

"So, have you though about my... preposition?" I ask her as she approaches. She regards me cooly. "In fact, yes. I have. You start now." I try not to show my relief. "So, shall we retire to a more quiet place in the woods? Say, by the lake?" I can't say no. After a short walk, we arrive at our destination, a small clearing, surrounded by woods on three sides; on the fourth, a shining lake. "So," she starts, "Shall we begin?" I nod. "Allright, what do you know about Lionstar's next plan of attack?" she asks.

"He is planning to attack your territory, actually, right near here, in that direction." I point my tail north. "Ah, so I see. And what are his weakness?"

"His main one?" "Yes." I chuckle. "Where do I begin..."

Day: 1

Moon: 8

Season: 18

His weakness... where do I start? Where should I begin? What example could I use? Let me show you. (The setting is the ThunderClan's former camp, now main camp for The Clan. There are many cats around there, all clustered around Lionstar. Many are rouges, warriors, and apprentices. One is Silver. He is in the outskirts of the group) "And then, after we crush their offensive in the east, we will dash swiftly to their main base of activity; The Island!" The cats, most of them, cheered. A dark tabby slunk away, heading towards The Island. Lionstar continues, even though he notices this. "Now, I need to make ready my battle patrol. Silver, Red, Burning, and Ivythorn, you will come with me, for a surprise raid on their camp." _Not so surprise now._ I remember thinking. I noticed another cat slink away. "And Dustpelt, you will lead Graystripe, Breezepelt, Crowfeather, and Grain to block the exits. _Let no cat escape. Alive._ The group nodded. They knew what he meant.

Lionstar dismissed the meeting. Then he called out, "My patrol, to me!" Me, my friend Red, and the others padded forward. "Now, let us crush the resistance! The other three nodded eagerly, but Red pulled up near to me and mewed, "Do you think this is smart? I noticed the other cats padding away during the meeting. Do you think they were spies? Did they alert the enemy?" I nodded. "I noticed too. I think so." Lionstar noticed us talking. "What are you talking about? May I hear?" He grinned, thinking that we would cringe away, afraid of punishment, and I did, but not Red. "Yes. I noticed some cats slinking away during your speech, and I think they were spies. We may have been ratted out, and our surprise attack might not be so... surprise." Shocked, Lionstar found himself without words for a few moments, then regained himself. "Well," he started "if they _were_ spies, then we must strike fast, before they arrive." We all nodded reluctantly. "Good. Now then, let's go."

The Present

Lepoardstar nods. "Yes, but where is the weakness?" I answer, "If you would recall, didn't you pummel us that day? Didn't your spies inform you so you were ready? What this shows is fool heartedness. Stupidity, I would go so far as to call it. He is bold, yes, and courageous, yes, but those good traits are no use if combined with the other two." Lepoardstar nods. I breath out a silent sigh of relief. "Red... Red... where have I heard that before?" she mews faintly. Then her eyes darken. "Ah, yes, Red. Didn't he die during the raid?" I stiffen with sorrow. "Yes, he did." Lepoardstar sighs. "I was afraid of that." she mews reproachfully. "I dare say I miss the old days, when cats didn't die from war, only sickness and starvation at worst." A glimmer of hope brightens my outlook. If she misses the old days, what are the chances of her ending this war, and bringing _back_ the old days. That glimmer of hope quickly deadens. "The old days were almost perfect, " she muses, "but they can never come back. We must not look to the past, to our ancestors. Only the future remains." Crap. I'm no closer to ending this than when I begun.

Lepoardstar continues. "Come now, tell me what happened." She catches my pained look, I think, because she said, "Go on; it's easier if you get it out. You can tell me." I take a deep breath; this is going to be difficult.

Day: 2

Moon: 8

Season: 18

Foggy night

Red padded up beside me, silently. I looked away, making sure we were still with the others; with this fog, it'd be easy to get lost. We had to be silent; even though we could hear the forward team distracting the camp, the infiltrators _did_ warn them about us, and not them. While it's possible that the enemy thinks that the forward patrol was us... still, better be careful. Speaking of hearing... Red whispered in my ear. "Did you hear that?" I flicked my ears around, trying to catch a sound, _anything_. I didn't hear anything, so I went to console my long time friend. "No, I do-" With a screech, Lepoardstar lead the attacking patrol, of seven or so different cats. Lionstar screeched, "Clan! Attack!", but it was too late. Already Ivythorn was lying on the ground, bleeding her life out. I picked out the nearest cat. With a screech, I threw myself on the she-cat's back. With a snap, the she-cat collapsed, dead. Before I could react, I found myself flung into the air, hurled by a strong brown tabby-tom. "You killed her!" Quickly, I comprehended I killed his mate; sad, but that's reality. When coming back down, I thrust my hind feet down, and with all the force in my body, I landed on him. The brown cat rolled over onto me, exposing my stomach. I thrust upwards, and the tom hit a tree. I padded over, ready to kill, but the tom was out cold. No use killing him. I spun around to see Red single-pawed taking on two toms, one silver and one black. Lepoardstar snuck up behind him, and as I yowled a warning, Red spun around, fear making his eyes pure black with a rim of white, before Lepoardstar landed on him. Red fought valiantly, and I ran towards the battle. But three cats at once was too much; Red, after beating back the black tom, was bowled over and pinned by the siver tom. The fear in his eyes as Lepoardstar stalked up to him, ready to kill. I can't forget it. I remember his last words, "Please! I have kits, and a mate! I can help you! I ca-" He was cut off suddenly as Lepoardstar lunged for his neck, latching on and not letting go. A queer gurgling sound rose up from Red. He knew the end was near. He looked up at me. "Silver. Hel..." The light in his eyes faded; they glazed over, then were blank, but still wide with fear. And still staring at me. I could barely hear Lionstar, "Clan! Retreat! Retreat!"

The Present

Lepoardstar looks at me, with no little guilt in her eyes. "Yes. Yes, I remember that. I am... am... sorry." I stand up, and walk away. Though she stares mournfully after me, she doesn't stop me. I think I hear her murmur something. "StarClan, how do I stop this? This bloodshed? How..." She leaves it like that, painfully final.


	3. Captive

Day: 7

Moon: 2

Season: 19

I can't do it! I just can't do it! It goes against my conscience! I just want to stop! They sprint to me again. They're here again. I can see a paw flash out. Then a flash of red. Darkness enshrouds me. I can't see, can't hear, and can't think. I can feel, though. They're dragging me, and not being too careful. I feel a gash forming my stomach. It sickens me. Why can't they listen? I think. They seemed so civil when I first got here. I feel a sinking sensation, and then feel impact. Water. They're drowning me! What? The darkness somehow grows darker. My thinking gets muddied. What does it matter? I wonder sleepily. Would it just be easier to surrender to death? I have nothing to fear. But before I fade to black permanently, I see something in the darkness. Red! Hello, Red! I think, weirdly happy considering the circumstances. I somehow know he can hear me. Don't fight it, Red. Surrender, it's so peaceful. But he seems to be trying to communicate to me franticly. Red, I can't hear, remembers? My hearing comes back, just slightly. I barely can make it out. Fight it, Silver! Do it for me! It's not your time, don't surrender! You can get back at them, and you have a place in Star Clan! Just stay alive! My feeling comes back, and my thought clears. I can hear! I take a gasping breath, and feel a sharp pain in my back. I open my eyes, squinting them against the painful light. "Back to reality, Kittypet!" The rasping voice startles me. Crap. I'm still alive.

Sighing inwardly, I struggle. Getting one of my paws free, I extend my claws and swipe them across a cat's eye. A black she-cat, with a white tail. Pebble, I dimly remember. Pebble's her name... she tries to flee, wailing. Instead, she trips up over her own legs, and she looks back. My claws penetrated deeply. Too deeply, I can see. She, however, can't. Tough luck. Turning away, I try to ignore her panicked screeches. I turn to the other two, who were still stunned by the sudden change of events. Two toms, both black, one with a white ear. Employing a tactic I learned in the rouge territory, I charge them on my hind legs, both front paws spread out, claws extended. Shocked back to their senses, they exchange a startled glance, then with a cocky grin, the one on the left, Harrowflight, I think, jumps around back of me, ready to strike. I anticipate this, and veer sharply to the left. Then I spin around and deliver a sharp bite to the back of Harrowflight's neck, and dig my claws into his pelt.

Startled, he runs back to his camp. Fox-hearted coward. I turn around, facing the big-shouldered tabby left. He turns tail and runs away. Smart. Hearing pursuers, I run into the woods. Taking deep breaths, I will my legs to propel myself faster, because I can hear them gaining. Despite my thinking becoming blurred because of the lack of air, I realize I have an advantage. I knew the terrain better than them. Thinking I can trip them up, I head to a particularly root-infested area. Nimbly jumping left and right to dodge the gnarled roots of ancient trees, I swivel my ears backwards. They're still coming, but... ouch, that sounds painful. My pursuers are thinning out! Still, the fastest runners were close behind me. I know I can't outrun them. But maybe outsmart? But how? They're getting closer, and fast. So I need to act fast. I turn right, towards the city. I'll lose them there. I risk a glance back. They're so close, maybe eight fox-tail lengths. I take bigger breaths, but to no avail. However fast they're gaining, it doesn't matter! I can see the fence from here! I take a running jump, and clear the fence. Crap, I'm in an alleyway. A dead end. I turn around, ready to face my assailants. There they are. They've surrounded me, on all sides but the back. I step up boldly and prepare to meet my fate. I'm sorry, Red. At least I get to see you in StarClan. I close my eyes, ready to die. But then I hear scampering feet, and smell fear. I slowly open my eyes. They're gone. But I hear something behind me. Slowly I turn around. I'm surrounded by cats, but not of the Clan. I can recognize some of them. Burning, Grain, Harris, Bone... why aren't they with the Clan? Hold on... icy fear take hold of my heart as I realize the bad news; they've gone rouge again. And joined a group. I see a cat in the middle of them, one they're treating like the leader. Shatter!

"Long time, no see, Silver." The contempt is obvious in his voice. "Having fun? You know... abandoning us? You know what happens to those who abandon us, usually..." He lets his voice trail off, painfully final. The cats take another step towards me. I recognize another cat... Fox, Shatter's life-long friend, proving that deep down he may have feelings. "Stop it. We'll... discuss alone. Later." I breathe out a sigh of relief. The cats back off, and go about their normal business. "Come with me." Shadow beckons with his tail. "We'll discuss your current... situation... out back." As we pass the other cats, Fox gives me a knowing look. "You'll be okay" he says. Good... I'll be okay.


	4. Preposition

Day: 7

Moon: 2

Season: 19

(***) Later that day...

You'll be okay. You'll be okay, he said. Huh. Okay is an ambiguous term. How did he mean okay? Did he mean okay as in things would be fine? Does that mean that he'd let me go? Just pass through as a rouge? Or was I going to 'join' the clan, of my own 'free will'? Did he truly mean it, or would we be punished, like the poor kittypets that passed into BloodClan's territory under Scourge? So many choices... pah. I have no need to be under the dictatorship of BloodClan again... but who knows? Maybe Shatter changed all that. Speaking of Shatter, here he comes now. The large black (? Capitaine Jaf never gave me a good description as far as I could tell) cat was padding quietly towards the alleyway guarded by Brick and Talon. Not quietly enough for my expertly tuned ears. I suppose he is supposed to surprise me.

Shatter poked his head into the box I was using as shelter. "Come." So this was Scourge's successor. Doesn't waste words, it seems. But then, neither did Scourge. I get up and pad after Shatter. Looking at the cats as I passed them, I noticed something similar about all the grown cats. They all had long scars, on their left forepaw, extending up near their necks, all the body, and down to the tail. But only the grown cats, though. The younger cats had no markings. I point this out to Shatter. He glances back at me. "Of course." He speaks as if he was surprised I didn't get it. "They're warriors. Of course they'd have their markings."

"Their Markings?" I spoke it as if markings were capitalized. The black tom sighed faintly, as if losing patience with a particularly slow apprentice. Do they have apprentices here? "Oh, yes. You joined before I took over, didn't you?" Not waiting for a response, Shatter continues. Rude. That'll get him nowhere. "When cats of BloodClan receive their warrior names, they reccive a wound from me, all in the same place, to... welcome them to the clan. Apprentices don't have names, or scars. That signifies they have not yet earned a place in the Clan." After a short pause, I dare to speak. "That seems a bit... harsh." Shatter glares back at me. "Don't you dare defy me again! I do not stand for defiance!"

Shocked, I falter in my step. Shatter stops impatiently, turns around, digs his claws into my forearm, yanking me back up. "You're getting on my nerves. We're nearly there. Hurry up." He turns around, and stalks away. I quickly catch up, and the rest of the journey passes in silence. Finally we arrive at the dumpster that he sleeps in. We enter the dark place, and he lies down, and motions for me to do the same.

"So... what are you doing in our territory?" he asks quietly. "Have your 'stint' with the Clan cats gone on too long?

I take a deep breath before answering. "Actually, the clans are in a state of war. I was simply caught by the cats I happened to be fighting. They questioned me a little bit, I answered, and then, when they started questioning about more important information, I tried to escape. I nearly didn't. During the ensuing chase, I thought I'd try to lose them in the city. I didn't think I'd find you here." I pause. "Actually, I wasn't aware that this was your territory. You must have expanded it." He pauses to inspect me more closely. "Yes, we did... so, are you staying?" Blunt. I like that. "No, probably not."

"Why not?" The question takes my by surprise. "Is there a reason I should?" Shatter glowers at me for a moment, then says, "Well, for one, you're intelligent. We could use more of that around here. Another is that you need protection, yes?" He paused, as if expecting me to respond, but moves on. "Let me tell you something. It doesn't matter how far we run. It just matters how we run. You're not the sum of your past mistakes. You're not the sum of the trouble you cause. It matters how you run the race, what you do. Don't make my mistake. You can leave your past in the past. Remember Red, yes, but remember his good parts. Remember what he did right, the fun times you had. Don't remember the bad parts. Remember him to learn from him. But you must look to the future. And this... this is your future. Choose, and choose rightly. I ask you again... are you staying?"

I hesitate. He sounds like he has common sense. He's right. When I die, it doesn't matter how far I ran. It matters how I ran the race? Did I run the race of life to its fullest? Did I make the lives of others better, if even a little bit? That's the question. The big question. The current question is this; to paraphrase Shakespeare, To join, or not to join? That brings up another series of questions. Will they care for me? Can I keep my sanity and join? Can I trust them? Will they be too suspicious? Should I be suspicious? I groaned inwardly. Ugh. All this thinking in so little time's giving me a headache. I take a deep breath. "I will join."

(***) Three days later

The entire Clan is assembled. Shatter comes up to me. "Silver, do you promise your loyalty to me, and to follow my every order, even if it endangers your life?" I don't hesitate before responding, "I do." Shatter continues. "Good. I will allow you to keep your name of Silver." I held out my left forepaw. Unsheathing his claws, Shatter digs his sharp claws like daggers into my paw and arm, and continues along my body, and to my tail. To my credit, I didn't even flinch. As he passes by me, Shatter whispers in my ear," Welcome to the Clan."

No going back now. Welcome to the Clan, he said. Welcome to the Clan.


	5. Of Suspicion and Sadness

Day: 11

Month: 3

Season: 19

Welcome to the Clan. Welcome home. I roll those thoughts around my head constantly. They for some reason still don't sound one and the same. I was still suspicious of Shatter. I keep on looking to dark places to see if he's watching me, and then I check again, to make sure he didn't blend in. I know somewhere in my sub-conscience that he couldn't possibly blend in with that silver and dark-spotted pelt, but still... he could, I think, anyways. Is there reason to be suspicious? He's done me no harm, other than the scar of welcoming into the clan as a warrior. In fact, he forgave me for trespassing on BloodClan turf, invited me to join the clan, and even advised me. It was good advice, too. So why am I suspicious? Is it because he done all these things? Now that I think of it... yes. It's possible. But what use would he have of me, a simple rouge?

Sighing, I leave my alleyway and meet up with Red. Red seems to be Shatter's favorite female, other than Purity herself, so I decided to try and get friends in high places. Starting with her. "What's wrong?" She sounds concerned. She know me that well, in so little time? I try to fake it. "Nothing, I'm fine. Just a little tired, that's all." She looks into my eyes, and I make the mistake of returning the gaze. "No, you're lying to me. Tell me, what's your problem?" With an amused mrrow, I reply, "You're not going to stop bugging me until I tell you, will you?" She gives an amused mrrow also, then says, "You know me. You know the answer." I sigh. "I'm still a little suspicious of him." Comes the surprised reply, "Shatter? You're suspicious of him? Why?" I glance at her, then quickly look around, to see if there were any other cats around. There were, though no one noticed us. As far as I could tell, that is.

"This could be called unloyal talk, you know. Don't you think that we should go to a place a little more... remote?" Red looks at me strangely, then nods. "Going hunting, Ice!" she calls to Shatter's guard. "Not sure how long we'll be gone." Ice gives a grunt, and we continue walking. The route she takes leads through a series of decrepit slums and alleyways, and gradually to a nice looking neighborhood. She heads to a pile of boxes, hops in one, and motions me to do the same to a box facing her, then flicks her tail up. "Looks like rain. Should get into the shelter." I hop in, and lay down. "So, why are you suspicious of him?" Straight to the point, I see." Well, don't you find it a bit... strange that Shatter not only forgives a mere rouge for trespassing in the heart of his territory? And then takes me to his den, invites me to join the Clan, and even advised me on life? Then disappears for almost... no, a bit more than a month? Right after I join? While I don't think he would harm me after letting me join the Clan, I think he has an ulterior motive. I'm just scared of what it is."

Red nods slowly. "Yes, it seems strange... but why be suspicious? It's not like you've ever done something with out telling everyone what you're doing. And the disappearing for a month? That was... um... actually? I don't know. But I don't think he has any other reasons for letting you join other than the ones that he listed. You're strong, and while we have plenty of that, Rain and Storm especially, you're also smart, something we don't have much of. I think Shatter appreciates... no, maybe even admires intelligence, so long it's not his enemy's intelligence. That's dangerous, and must be... ended." Now it was my turn to nod slowly. "I guess that makes sense, but still..." Red sighs. "You're hopeless, aren't you?" I laugh. Stealing her line, I say, "You know me, you know the answer." She returns my laugh. "Yes, I know you, and I know the answer. But we can change that! Now, let's get some hunting done, unless you want to return to the Clan with nothing?" I sigh and hop down from my box. "I suppose not. Let's get started."

"So, where to?" I ask. She pauses for a moment, thinking. "How about down by the creek, the one that leads through the woods into the small city." I head off towards the woods. "Okay." Red quickly catches up. "Okay let's hunt together." After arriving at the creek, we follow along it for a short time. Suddenly, Red stops and scents the air. I do the same. Squirrel. She catches my eyes, and points with her tail to a tree near the creek, with a rusty chain hanging off a branch. Near that tree, I saw a red squirrel, busily hunting for nuts. "That tree blocks off the west, so you get the north, and I'll get east, and scare it right into your paws, since the creek blocks the south. We'll get that squirrel unless it can swim. Got it, Silver?" I nod silently. "Okay. Let's go."

Silently, Red takes a wide arc around the tree, and I simply go straight to my destination. After a few moments, I catch a glimpse of Red. She nods, signaling that she's ready to start. I raise my tail, and she scrambles out of the undergrowth, yowling. The startled squirrel takes off running, right towards me. I pounce, but the squirrel saw me. Mouse dung! I take off running after it, thinking I could guide it back to Red. But instead, the squirrel jumped into the river! Red's annoyed hiss sounded loudly, "That squirrel CAN swim!", but I didn't hear. I jumped into the creek with it, and landed on top of the squirrel, biting its neck and dragging it underwater. After a brief struggle, the squirrel is still. I bob to the surface. Red's on the bank, looking at me, stunned. My mouth full with the squirrel, I motioned with my paws she would need to lift me out. Slowly, she reached out her head and grabbed my scruff, hauling me out of the water.

I stand there, dripping. Dropping the squirrel, I start drying myself. "How did you do that?" I look up, startled. "Did what?"

"You know what!" I looked at her, and she was serious. "I just caught a squirrel? What?" She sighed. "It's not what you did; it's how you did it. Where did you learn that?" Oh, that was an easier question. "I spent time with what was RiverClan. While they only fish, it helped me with this in the fact that I'm used to the water." Red shook her head. "You're going to drown yourself, and when you do, I'm going to laugh. Now, come on. We need to dry that, offer it to someone, and catch ourselves something." Finally, she didn't sound so surprised. "Yeah, let's go." Drying the last of the squirrel, I picked it up and walked off. The rest of the night passed in silence. When we arrived at BloodClan territory, it was moonhigh. We passed Ice. "So, you were gone for a while. How was the hunting?" Red ignored him, but I said, "Good, though hard to catch." He nodded curtly, and I moved on. Presently, I found where Gem was, on a white twoleg pelt, one of the fuzzy ones. I dropped my catch in front of her. "Would you-" Gem looked up and cut me off. "If you're going to offer me freshkill just to win my affections, you're sadly mistaken. I don't care how big or meaty what ever freshkill you brought me is, I-" My turn to cut her off. "First of all, I just thought you would like a squirrel. I'm not like the other toms fawning over you. Second, at least appreciate the fact I brought it to you. I jumped into a creek to catch this!"

Gem stared at me, surprised. Nobody ever cut her off. She settled down on her coat, and said, "Well said. Now, could you bring the freshkill here?... thank you." She nodded her thanks, and I spun around and ran right into Red, whose whiskers were twitching. "So, you met Gem?" I chuckled. "Yes, I did. Talkative one, isn't she?" Whiskers still twitching, Red nodded. Turning around, we left the alleyway. "So," she started, "How's life in BloodClan?" I look at her. "Not all that bad, actually. How do you like it? Has it changed you?" She looked a little sad all of a sudden. "My life as a kit was good... but how did I get here? I worry... I worry that I fell past loving, because I'm not who I once was." She looked at me, and compassion flared in my chest. "But don't you know who you are? You're not who you once were, you say. But don't you know who you are? You are more than the choices you have made; you are more than the sum of your past mistakes. You are more than the trouble you cause, because you've been remade. Days will come where hope will seem lost and you're afraid that you can not be loved. If they saw into your heart it'd show too much, because you're made for so much more than this, pray that you'll have the heart to fight, because you're more than whatever's hurting you tonight, because you're beautiful, made for so much more than all of this, you are treasured, you are sacred, and you are loved." Red looked into my eyes, amazed. "T-thank you. I needed that." She walked away slowly, leaving me along underneath the streetlight.


	6. Sands of Time

Day: 9

Month: 3

Season: 19

I can't forget last night. It won't get out of my mind, and I don't know why. The despair in her voice... it's chilling. Given her rank in the Clan, you'd think that being a favorite of Shatter would make her happy, but she seemed just the opposite. I could tell the despair in her voice was real. Painfully real. I wonder what in the **** could have caused it? I mean, I'm not bitter, and my parents were killed when I was a kit. Of course, I never really knew them, but that's beside the point. I could be bitter from being alone from the time I was weaned off milk. I nearly starved several times, and saw my brother and sisters die, too. What could be worse that? And if I were Shatter's favorite, I'd be happy... I mean, if I didn't still have that niggling feeling that he was going to be using me for his own good.

Oh well... just forget it. If she wants to tell you, Silver, she'll tell you in her own time. In the meantime, you should try to assimilate yourself into BloodClan... that sounds good. I got up from the box I was moping in, dodged a couple of cats in my alley, and walked out onto the sidewalk. I think I'll explore today. I head west, and see a small ally way that I never noticed before. I head down it, and almost immediately run into another cat. He looks familiar, and I can tell that he is scrutinizing me, too. The golden pelt, the black markings... the blue eyes... so familiar... then, realization. "Sand?" The tom's eyes spark with realization, also. "Silver!" Sand suddenly sounds joyous. "Silver! You're alive!"

I was confused. "Of course I am... why would you think otherwise?" Sand looked at me. "Because... you were captured by the enemy... the enemy doesn't let prisoners live. So, how _did_ you live?" That wasn't a question I wanted to answer just yet, so I changed the subject. "Never mind that. How come you're not with The Clan?" Sand sighs. "The Clan won, and the two clans became four again. So I'm out of work. I joined a group of cats." I looked at him, exited. I don't remember his acceptance into the Clan... when did I miss it? "So did me! How do you like it?" Sand returned my exited gaze. "It's great! Everybody supports each other, and we all get to say what goes on in the group!" My gaze of excitement turned to puzzlement.

"No, that's not what it's like at all... what group did you join?" This time, Sand returned my gaze fearfully, but not before eyeing my scar. "Rouges United... what did you join?" I didn't miss the waver in his voice at the end. He was afraid of my answer. "BloodClan." Fear made Sand's eyes almost pure black, with blue rims. "Great StarClan," he whispered, "why?" I'm actually basking in this fear, enjoying it, I realize. Am I becoming like... like them? "What? What's wrong with BloodClan?" Sand started backing away, just slightly. And shaking. Not so slightly. "They're ruthless! Violent ruffians! They kill with abandon, there's no honor, and chances are, you won't survive with out killing. What _isn't_ wrong with it?" I nodded. "True, true, but you'll get used to the ruthlessness, and we don't kill, usually. Just to defend our territory, or if you did wrong, you get punished. Sometimes permanently, but believe me, if you do wrong, you won't again... one way or another."

I could smell his fear-scent now. My friend was fearful of me. _Does he have reason?_ I didn't want to know the answer. I scented the air. "You're on BloodClan turf, boy. I can smell a patrol coming. Get. Meet me here tomorrow." When Sand hesitated, I pushed him and said, "Run!" He nodded and belted his way through the back alleyway. Just in time, I could see a patrol rounding the corner. They scented the air. They traced it to this alleyway. Rounding the corner, I recognized them. Hadley, a big brown brute, with blue eyes, Burn, a lithe, strong, red-pelted cat with green eyes, and a skinny she-cat I never saw before. Since Hadley wasn't the brightest, Burn spoke for the group. "We smelled a trespasser, Silver." He eyes me. "Have you seen any?" Thinking quickly, I said "Yeah, a grey kittypet wandered this far. Didn't wander farther." I grinned like I thought I should. Burn still eyed me. "Where's the blood?" I spoke with little delay. "He had a thick pelt. Couldn't get through the ****ing thing. Burn and Hadley exchanged a look.

"Well, then, you need to sharpen those claws." The white she-cat spoke for the first time. Burn glared at her and she shut up. "Okay, we'll believe you. Now, we need to get done with our patrol." I nodded and spun around to walk away, the same way Sand took. And ran right into Shatter. "I saw a cat running off of our territory. He looked pretty scared. Why isn't he dead?" As usual, my quick thinking saved my pelt. "I took one swipe at him and he took off running." Shatter sighed. "Kittypets. Now, come on, I need to talk to you. Alone." He turned around, and I followed quickly, not wanting to make the same mistake I did a month ago. My leg was still sore.

As we walked, I realized that we were going to his den. _Why does he want me there?_ I noticed that it was a short ways away from where I had been. _What had Sand been doing in this far? Was he _crazy_?_ I shook my head as we neared his den. Brick and Talon were guarding it today. Shatter glanced at them and they immediately left to the end of the alleyway, knowing that it was a private meeting. We jumped into the trash heap, and he motioned for me to lie down, and he did the same.

"Do you know why you're here?" His question took me by surprise. Usually he was direct and to the point, not one to ask questions. "No, sir, I don't." I could tell that Shatter liked being called sir, even though he tries to never show it. It betrayed him this time by a tail twitch. "I didn't think so. Have you heard of a group of rivals? One called Rouges United?" I barely could cover my shock. _What did he have to do with Rouges United? Were we going to make war with them? Would I have to fight Sand?_Even though I knew Sand for a short time, I already felt attached to him. It was like that with anyone I went into battle with at my side. I chose my words carefully. "Yes, sir. But not much. Only that they exist." Scourge looked at me doubtfully. I carefully kept a straight face.

Sighing, Shatter started explaining. "Rouges United is another infidel group vying for territory in the downtown city. They're already encroaching on The Mousehole, and claim they mean no harm. They've taken the idea for their group from a twoleg word, _demokrasee._ Basically, it is the idea that all cats are equal, and instead of there being a leader, they get to decide together what will happen in their group. Disgusting, isn't it?" I started to say, "Yes", but apparently not fast enough. Shatter dug his claws into my stomach, and calmly said again, "Disgusting, _isn't it?_" There was no delay in my response this time, "Yes, very, very disgusting."

Shatter retracted his claws. "Glad you think so. Now, I called you here because it has come to my attention that a cat you once knew joined that group. Does the name Sand ring a bell?" I feigned thinking hard for a moment, then said, "Yeah, I think so. Gold pelt with... blue or green eyes?" Shatter nodded. "Now, we want you to find him and milk him for information. Can you do that?" He wants me to _spy_ on them? Through Sand? I _knew_ he wanted me for a reason. "I pledged my loyalty to you when I joined. I'm not going back on that promise now. When do you want me to start?" Shatter smiled something rare. _He thinks I'm loyal to him!_ I realized. "As soon as possible. Tomorrow." I dipped my head. "Yes, sir." I turned around to leave. "Oh, and Silver? To my elites, I have a name. Call me Shatter." Surprised, I stumbled over my paws. "Um- yes, Si- Shatter." I mumble. I quickly leave the den.

Leaving the alleyway, I tried to hold in my excitement until I got to Red. After a while, I arrived at her den. She was sunning herself on a closed dumpster. "Red." She looked up. "Yeah, Silver?" I could hardly contain my glee. "I've officially joined Shatter's favorites!" Red jumped up, exited for me. "Did he say so himself?" I nodded. "Well as good as. He said that to his Elites, he has a name, Shatter. Call him Shatter." Red hopped down from the dumpster. "Come on, it's getting late. We should find you a den." I look at her, puzzled. "Why do I need a den? I already have one." She started out of her alleyway, motioning with her tail for me to follow her. "Well, if you're part of Shatter's Elite, then you need a den nearer to his alleyway. All his Elite have a den near his alley." I nod my agreement.

"Okay then, let's go." Red takes me on a complicated path, but I notice that it is, in fact, getting closer to Shatter. "Wait... hold on," I say, interrupting the quiet, "I think I know where you're going. You're going to that alleyway with a back exit, and a restaurant, aren't you?" Red glances at me, surprised. "How did you know? I hesitate. "Well... I, uh, saw a nice place for a den there today, and this is part of the route I took to get there." Actually, it was the same alleyway I met Sand. I wondered if she knew this. Probably not, no reason she would. Presently we arrive at our destination. After scouring the alleyway for a couple minutes, I find a nice cozy sheltered corner, well lit, but protected, and easy access and very soft. "Looks good." Red nods her agreement. "All right, I'll leave you to get... settled in." I take her advice. It had been a tiring day. Almost as soon as I close my eyes, I fall asleep.

I open my eyes. Something's wrong. I sit up, alarmed. This isn't where I went to sleep! It's in a middle of a field, near a forest. Unfamiliar and familiar scents roll around my nose. Sniffing, I struggled to pick out individual scents. Then, one warm and inviting. Red! **Author's note: I know I used Red twice. I didn't know that Jaf already had a Red. Sorry, you'll have to pick out the individual ones yourself**. I sit up, alarmed and happy at the same time. Studying the tree line, I pick out a familiar shape. I start bounding towards the shape, and the shape does the same. "Red!" I call out, "Red, how are you?" Red slows down to a trot, and then stops in front of me. Something occurs to me. "Red... you're... you're dead. Am I dead too?" Red shakes his head.

"No, Silver, friend. But I am. There is a place that everyone goes after they die. Fighting for the Clan, I am from StarClan." I'm confused. "But I thought that was just nursery tales, for kits!" Red shook his head. "No, it isn't. Perhaps later we can talk. But for now, I have a message. Things are about to change, quick. Be ready to weather the storm, or you will not live to see the silver lining." What storm? What does he mean by silver lining? By silver does he mean... _me?_ "But, Red! It can't be me! I'm nothing! What do you mean by this?" I continue to plead but Red only shakes his head. Suddenly he looks up.

"Silver. Silver! Are you here?" I tilt my head, confused. "What do you mean?" But he continues. The voice morphed into another, and I felt a jab at my side. "Silver. Silver, wake up, you big lump!" Slowly, I open my eyes. I see Sand right beside me. "Silver, wake up! You said you wanted to talk? I sat up, remembering my mission. Could I do this? Sensing my hesitation, Sand tips his head. "You did want to talk, Silver, right?" I sat up and nodded. "So," he started, "tell me about life in BloodClan. How is it?" I pause. Can I really do this?

Of course I could. For BloodClan. For Shatter. For me.


	7. Gathering of Spies

Day: 10

Month:3

Season: 19

(***) Immediately after last chapter end.

I can't rule out a guilty feeling as I continue. I address Sand's question about life in BloodClan. "It's okay, I guess. Not as violent as you think." Sand tipped his head to one side. "Really? How do you join?" Was Sand actually thinking of joining? "Well, first of all, you leave Rouges United." I wait to gauge his response, but he merely mummers, "Go on." _Is he really going through with this?_ "Then, you simply ask to join, and if Shatter allows it, you get this," I stopped and showed my scar, and his eyes widened. I continued," and are part of BloodClan... unless, of course, you're young. Then you lose your name and get no scar, and train to be a warrior." Sand's eyes widened. "Well, that's cool. So you all answer to this Shatter guy? Is he like big or something?" I nodded. "Yep, he's the leader. And he's a very, very large silver cat. Different than Scourge, he was a tiny little thing. But believe me, they don't lack in ruthlessness. What Shatter wants, Shatter gets. Luckily, he don't want too much." I started to steer the conversation towards Rouges United. "So, who's the leader of your group?"

Sand looked as if he was waiting for me to ask this. "Well, we don't _have_ a leader." He paused, waiting for me to look shocked, so I faked it. "So...," I said, feigning confusion, "How do you govern yourselves?" He smiled, obviously he wishes me to join, and he thinks he can convince me. "We vote on it." I acted confused again. "Vote? Why? I mean, what if you make the wrong choice?" I started pacing. "Well," he said, "Then we live and learn. The biggest difference between BloodClan and Rouges United is that, rather than us feeling loyal to a single cat, we feel loyal to _each other._" I tipped my head. "And what if you're attacked? Do you vote every time you need to defend your turf? That's too slow." Sand nodded. "It is. So we don't defend. We invade them before they invade us." Suddenly he looked nervous, as if he let something out he shouldn't have. "So, anyways, do you guys fight much?" _He's changing the subject,_ I realized. _He's trying to stop talking about Rouges and talk about BloodClan. He's spying, too!_ I closed up, in a way. "We're not allowed to talk about that," I say stiffly. Sand nodded stiffly. "Well, I... have some things to do," he said," so, maybe meet again tomorrow?" I nodded. "All rightie then, I need to go. "He nodded curtly, turned around, and left.

_So he _is_ spying!_ As soon as he was out of sight, I followed him, staying hidden. He took a complicated path of alleyways and back streets. Soon, I see him meet up with a big brown tabby. He dips his head. "Sheath, I have news, though little." Sheath nodded. "Go on, what did Silver have to say?" Sand took a breath. "Well, I couldn't get much from him. He says BloodClan isn't as violent as we think, and he told me how you would join. What you do is, assuming you're old enough, you receive a long, deep scar, and you are proclaimed a warrior. If you're young, you lose your name and are assigned to a mentor." Sheath nodded. "That's interesting... go on." _How much is he going to reveal?_ "Well, nothing much else, actually. They have only a single leader, named Shatter. He's a big one, so probably controls them by fear. He apparently has nine lives. Eight, sense he lost one." Sheath nodded. "Okay, we need to figure out how to do that. And I'll send out cats to try and get cats to join us. As for now, we need to plan the attack."

Immediately, I bolted out of that place, not caring if they heard me. Luckily, they didn't. I ran, as fast as my legs could take me, and then some. I needed to tell this to Shatter! They were planning to attack! Presently, I got to his alley, and I rushed past his guards, grunting out," I need to talk to Shatter, now!" I stopped just in front of his den. Calming myself, I meekly called out," Shatter?" Shatter poked his silver head out. He motioned for me to come inside. He motioned for me to lie down. "Yes, Silver? You have news?" I nodded breathlessly. "Well, out with it then!" In his impatience, he clawed at me. I didn't waste another second not talking. "I didn't find out much at first, just stuff you already knew. But then I followed Sand home. He was talking to one of their leaders, Sheath. They are going to attack!" Shatter jumped up, and called out to his guards. "Fetch me my deputy and my Elites! Now!" The guards ran off, not wanting to provoke Shatter. Soon, all the elites and Striker arrived. The Elites consisted of many cats, Storm, Shatter's son, Hunter, Shatter's other son, Red, Fleet, a tabby she-cat, Fang, Red's mate, Talon, a brown tom, Ice and Snake, the two brothers, and Tornado, Striker's son.

"Shatter nodded to me. "Tell them what you heard." I took a deep breath. It was dizzying, addressing all these important cats. _You're one of them, now._ I take a breath. "I have evidence that Rouges United, a rival group, is planning to attack us, right at our food source, the Mousehole!" There was a collective gasp. "When?" That was Tornado. "I heard tomorrow night." Tornado nodded, then addressed Shatter. "We may need to arrange a pre-emptive strike, if it is okay with you, Shatter." Shatter nodded. "I'm coming on this one. Get as many cats as you can. I attack at moonhigh tonight, with or without an army behind me. We will attack the heart of their operations, a patch of park that we allowed them to have. Now go." The cats nodded and scrambled off. I caught up with Red.

She glanced at me. "Is it true? Are they really going to attack?" I nodded. "Would I lie?" I growled. She shook her head. "Of course not. Want to come with me to fetch Gem, Haze, Pebble, Tarr, Star, and Olive?" I nodded. "Good, they should be at The Arena, fawning over Rain. Speaking of who, want to get him, too?" I nodded again. "Every cat possible, he said." The trip to The Arena was short. Predictably, we saw Gem and Star fawning over Rain, and Rain fighting some poor tom. I walked to the middle of the area. "Stop!" Knowing I was an elite, everybody stopped. _This feels good._ I spoke louder. "Shatter wants every cat possible to be fighting tonight. He wants these cats; Gem, Haze, Pebble, Tarr, Star, Rain, and Olive." All the cats stepped forward. Rain was panting, and Tarr was a bit scratched up. They must have been fighting.

Red nods. "All here. Let's go to Shatter's alley." I nod. "Come on, follow me." I called. The seven cats nodded and followed me. Most of them trailed behind, but Rain and Gem pulled up next to me. I spoke to Rain, "See you were fighting there. Were you winning?" Rain grunted. "Of course. What would make you think I would lose?" I shrugged. "I thought I saw some improvement in Tarr. I thought it might have elevated him to the level to actually making it hard for you." I laughed, and so did Rain. "No, no, not quite. So, who are these cats we're fighting?" I explained about Rouges United on the way to Shatter's alley. Soon, as we arrived, all the chosen cats were gathered. Shatter appeared from his den. "Gather your strength. We leave at moonhigh." I looked at the sky. It was sundown. Better prepare.


	8. Recaptivated

Day: 10

Month: 3

Season: 19

I looked up at the sky. The moon was nearly in the middle of the sky. It seemed larger tonight, so we could see the craters on it clearly. A wreath of clouds encircled the great rock, giving it a ghostly look about it. I looked back down. It was nearly moonhigh; I had better get ready for the battle. I retreated further into the box in the corner I was sitting in. With so many cats in the alley, it was getting a bit crowded. I scented the air, looking for Red, but I wrinkled my nose. I could smell _something,_ alright. I could smell the rancid breaths of many, many cats. _Do we need all these cats? Isn't it overkill?_ It seemed as if Shatter could read my thoughts, because he appeared seemingly out of nowhere. "It's not overkill, Silver. You _don't_ underestimate your enemy. Or, simply, you'll die." The big silver tabby started to walk away. He looked back. "You need to learn that, Silver." I nodded. "Good." Shatter turned back around and walked into the crowd. I looked up. The moon was nearly in the middle of the sky. It's nearly time.

I look around again, looking for Red. In the heaving sea of pelts, it was hard to pick out any particular pelt, but Red's pelt was a distinctive ginger color, so it shouldn't be hard to pick it out. After searching for a few moments, Silver couldn't find a ginger pelt anywhere... but, was that... that black pelt looks familiar. A black pelt with red markings... Red! **(My Red, not Jaf's)** Red looks up at me. There may have been a large crowd, but I could hear Red as if he were right next to me. "Be careful, Silver," he warned. "Be careful of Sand. He'll kill you, given the chance." I didn't speak out loud, but Red must have heard my thought, _Why?_, because he started to respond, but was cut out by Shatter, who yowled on top of his trash heap. Red looked pained, turned around and faded away. I sighed and turned my attention back to Shatter. "Cats of BloodClan! There are intruders that must be driven out of BloodClan's land!" A cheer rose up. These cats haven't fought in a while, and must have been getting bored. "These intruders must be driven out! They conspire to drive _us_ out of _our_ city! Will we let them?" A resounding cry, _NO!_, sounded out. Shatter grinned. "Good, good. Now, we move out." Another cheer rose up, though a wordless one. The entire mass of cats began to swarm out of the alleyway, making it seem like a flood of pelts.

I trailed at the end, along with Red, Striker, and Storm. I padded alongside Red, and on the other side of Red was Striker. Storm padded alone. I slowly fell behind, letting Red and Striker talk about... something, I'm not sure. I thought I heard my name, but that was only once, so I must have been mistaken. Soon, I was padding alongside Storm. His silver pelt stood out against the lamplight. "So... do you know where we're attacking?" Storm's question took my by surprise, I mean, didn't he listen? He's one of the best fighters in the clan, inferior to just Rain and Shatter himself. "Well... actually, it's not that far away. We're attacking where most of the enemy are sleeping. It's in the middle of two large twoleg buildings, what the twolegs call _Mahcees_ and _Duhnuhms_." (**Macy's and Dunham's)** Storm nodded. "I heard of the place. Okay, so there's two entrances that double as exits?" I nodded. "Good. Since I'm in charge of battle plans, I say Shatter will lead a patrol around one end, and Rain around the other. Is there any way to get on the twoleg buildings?" I stopped to think. "Um... there's a gutter we can climb onto both. Why?" I was (for once) truly puzzled. What did this have to do with battle? Storm answered my question almost immediately. "Thought so. Now, during a battle, would you look up?" I shook my head. "Well, they won't either. They won't be looking up until we've jumped on them." I nodded. This made since. "So..." I began, "We'll lead a patrol to... the roof?" Storm nodded, satisfied. 'Yes, you'll be on the opposite building, _Mahcees_, and I'll be on _Duhnuhms._ You'll wait for my signal, a nod, then our patrols will pounce."

I curled my tail up in amusement. "They won't be expecting _that!_ They're never going to stop looking up if they escape!" Storm nodded, again satisfied. He glanced up. "Shh... we're here. I'll send your patrol to you." I nodded. After a few moments, I could see a group of cats approaching. Burn, Hadley, Vulpes, and Sin. Vulpes was a red tom cat, with the strange appearance of almost a fox, and Sin was a cream and silver tom with an attitude. The two were partners of sorts. Never seen one without the other. "So," I whispered, "you're my patrol?" They all nodded. "Okay, this will do. Follow me." Almost all of them came, all except Sin. I was expecting trouble from him. I sighed. "Sin, come. Now." Sin shook his head stubbornly. "Who said that we had to listen to you?" I rolled my eyes. "Shatter, through Storm. Do you _want_ to anger Shatter? Now _come_!" Sin sighed and nodded. He padded towards us slowly. "Faster!" Letting my anger get the best of me, I dashed over there, dug my claws into his foreleg, the same way Shatter did all that time ago, and yanked him along with us. When we were at the building, I let go. Sin's eyes were wide with pain.

I gave one last yank for good measure. "What I say, goes." Sin nodded. "Good." We found the gutter drain and we started climbing up on it. About half way up, I felt my paws slipping. I was about to whisper for help when my paws finally gave way, but I didn't fall as I expected. Instead, there was a sharp pain in my tail, and then I was hanging from my tail. I looked up. It was Sin, holding onto my tail with his claws. After hanging there for a few moments, with the other cats looking at me, stunned, and Sin trying hard not to laugh too hard, I finally glanced up. "Sin," I growled, "Let me up. Now." Sin nodded gleefully. He swung me back and forth, and after a couple swings, with the pain in my tail growing with each second, almost to the point where I thought it would rip off, I finally was high enough to clamber back onto the drain. I looked back and glared at Sin for a moment, and then continued onto the roof with no other events.

Finally, we got onto the roof. It was a mostly featureless one, black gravel and a large grayish metal rectangle that made lots of noise. Looking across to the facing grey buildings, I saw that it had one too. _Good. Now we'll be able to have some cover while we're up here. They won't be able to hear us over _that_ racket!_ Seconds later, I spotted Rain's patrol. I nodded to my patrol, signed with my tail to follow me, and walked towards the edge of the building. Hesitantly, I peeked down. There were two dumpsters, with as many as five cats huddling under each. There was also a large mound of cardboard boxes, with who knows many cats in each. On top slept a familiar brown tabby... Sheath, I think. I motioned for Sin to come closer. I whispered, "Do you see that brown tabby?" Sin nodded. "Good. Do you think you could take him on?" Again, Sin nodded. "Good. I want you and Vulpes to gang up on him when we jump. He seems to be their leader, kill him as soon as possible when the battle starts. Understood?" Sin nodded. "Good. Now, let the show begin." As if on cue, I spotted Shatter and Storm's two patrols coming around the other sides of the alleyway. They snuck up on the sleeping clan, and at the same time, yowled a battle cry, and leapt to the attack. At the same time, Rain gave the signal, a swish of his tail. I yowled, "Attack!" Immediately, I saw Burn and Hadley both jump on a silver she-cat. I knew that Sin and Vulpes just rushed past me and were on Sheath. I could hear screeches of pain and yowls of triumph coming from both sides. Finally, I jumped in.

I joined Red as she and two other cats were trapping a group of toms inside the cardboard mountain. She glances my way. "Climb the mountain, and drop in and attack them. Once we see you're in, we'll rush them." I nodded; it was dangerous, but it was for Shatter. Besides, anything for Red. Too bad she was mates with Fang. Oh, well. These things happen. I nodded and started clambering the tall hill of boxes. Finding an open hole, I squeezed my way into the top boxes. I tore my way blindly through the two other layers, and when I was right above the terrified toms, I yowled and leapt through the soggy cardboard. Immediately, I landed on a grey long-haired tom. I felt a snap under me, and I felt the tom kind of fold up beneath me. A bone protruded out of his back. He locked eyes with me, and with a final yelp of pain, the light in his eyes faded. I nodded curtly. Broken back, quick death. That was good, didn't like slow deaths. The other two toms stared at me, too stunned to move. "You killed Blaze..." one whispered. A black tom. They still didn't move, but I could see Red and Gem creeping up behind them, one each. I grinned. "You'll be seeing him again soon enough." The tom's eyes widened as they realized what I meant. They both spun around, but too late. Gem had already did what I did, and broke a tom's back, and Red was latched onto the black tom's neck, whose lifeblood was quickly spilling out. Red let go before the black one died, and she spun around and left. The sounds of fighting was dieing down now. Gem left, too. The dying tom stared at me, shocked, and sadness showing in his green eyes. "This wasn't supposed to end this way." he whispered. I laughed. "Wasn't supposed to end this way? All life ends in death. Live and let live, die and let die. Don't lecture me on life, because I've had enough of it." The tom said, "No, I know you. This isn' t how-" He never finished the sentence. His face practically crumpled up, and his feet collapsed under him, dead. I stood in the blood-soaked mountain of boxes, stunned. _What did he mean that he knew me? I never saw him in my life!_ I shook my heads. _Some things you never learn till you join StarClan._ I shuddered. Would StarClan still accept me after this? They did nothing to me, and I just killed two toms without blinking an eye. I shuddered again. _What's happening to me?_

Soon, I heard the fighting stop. A cry sounded. Shatter's yowl. "Retreat! BloodClan, retreat!" The ground seemed to shake under me. _BloodClan, retreat? What was..._ A realization hit me like a car. _If BloodClan's retreating, then I'm left behind, in the middle of the alley!_ As soon as I got my bearings back, I tried to bolt out of the alleyway, but luck was not on my side. I was injured greatly, and I was as tired as ****. I tried to run a few steps, but after half a second, I fell to the ground, exhausted. My vision started to grow blurry, and I could see black fringing my sight. _This is just like being drowned,_ I realized. _Feels good to give in..._ _but Red told me not to._ I made up my mind. _I'll not give in, even if it kills me. Huh, ironic. Funny the things you think of when faced with death._ I could see a patrol of cats coming, checking the bodies to see if they were dead. I prayed to StarClan above that they didn't find Red. They were nearing me, only a few feet from the cardboard mountain. I tried to drag myself under a dumpster, but as I tried, my vision began to fade, so I stopped for a rest. Too late, anyways. The patrol was feet away from where I was. I tried to play dead. The patrol came closer. I could see a few cats. A silky pelted red she-cat, a black tom, and a white and red long-haired she-cat. Wait, the red wasn't part of her pelt, it was blood. It's a wonder she was still standing. Presently, they almost passed by me. I began to hope that they didn't notice me, but to no avail. The black tom sniffed the air, and looked directly at me. He padded slowly towards me. The game's over. I slowed my breathing, to look more injured than I was. Maybe they won't kill me... wait, why would they kill me? I can't remember.

The tom padded so close to me, he wasn't even an inch away. I kept my eyes closed. He started prodding me with his paw, and I let out a low moan. The tom was so startled that he seemed to jump a yard in the air! "We have a survivor! We have a survivor here!" _A survivor? A survivor of what? Wait... _All of a sudden, the alley swarmed with activity. A dozen or more cats suddenly swarmed out of seemingly nowhere, and all of them surrounded me. A little kit hopped right towards me, trying his hardest to look menacing. A worried queen pulled the little tom back towards her with her tail. A bulky tom strided towards me. He stood over me, growling lowly. The black tom who found me pulled the bulky cat away from me. "Go," he growled, "I'll take care of this." The brown tom growled softly and backed away. The black tom turned around. "All right, go back to work! I'll take care of this." The cats listened and left. As soon as the crowd dispersed, the black tom turned back to me. Now that I could get a good look at him, I could see he had penetrating amber eyes. He seemed to be an older tom, wizened with age. He looked down kindly at me. He softly mewed, "What's your name, son? Do you remember?" Now that he mentioned it, everything did seem a little fuzzy. I struggled through a swarm of half-complete memories. "I- I think... my name is... it starts with an S. Shatter, um... Sand... Silver... yeah, that's it. My name is... Silver." The old tom nodded. "Good, you remember something. Now, why are you here?" I again struggled to remember. "I'm not sure. There's something about a war, and a capture. I think I escaped. Then... um..." I dropped off. The old cat faded in front of me and a different scene took his place.

It seemed as if there was a storm in front of me. The clouds were a reddish orange, with what looked like... water? No, it was falling through the air... rain! It was a mix of fire and rain, together as one. The storm whirled across the landscape, destroying everything in its path. I could hear yowls and screams of pain and death. Soon, another color joined the storm. Red, blood. Together, the three colors in the storm swirled around, and the tornado storm more destruction than ever. Suddenly, the storm started speeding towards me. Strangely, I felt no fear. Instead, I felt a calm determination, crazy, I know. But it was there. As the vortex was starting to drag me in, a cat with a glittering pelt appeared beside me. Despite my difficulty to remember, I pulled a name out of the black void that was my mind. Red. His name is Red. Red looked at me, and said, "Silver, only you can stop it." At that moment, the cat faded and a silvery veil appeared over the storm. The storm wavered, and suddenly stopped, leaving only destruction in its wake. I could hear distressed yowls and grievous wails over the dead. A voice sounded in my head. _The Storm's coming, and it's coming fast. These times are changing, and for the worse. But, only you can stop it. You have the power, but remember, any destruction that happens is permanent. Act quickly._ The vision quickly faded.

I blinked and looked around. Everything was the same, but the black tom was staring down at me, concerned. "Are you okay, son?" I blinked again. I looked at him, determined. "I'm here to stop the storm." The old cat looked at me, puzzled. "The storm? What do you mean?" I shook my head. "I don't know. But I'm here to stop it." The old cat shook his head. "Okay, you're here to stop the storm. Now, one last question; how is your wounds? Will you make it though the night?" As if in answer to his question, the black that never left the edges of my vision engulfed my mind. My head fell to the ground with a _thwack_. I could here the old tom yowling for help, but it was as if I was listening to him underwater. A single cat appeared to me through the darkness. He was the same dark grey tabby in my dreams, called Red. He lied down next to me. I tried to ask him why he was here, but he cut me off. "Later, dear one, later. For now, rest." Taking Red at his word, I closed my mental eyes, as well as my already closed physical ones. Just as the darkness engulfed my vision, darkness now engulfed my consciences. It was peaceful.


	9. Awakening

Day: 18

Month: 3

Season: 19

I was in a sea of darkness, thinking nothing, noticing nothing. It was a world without pain, without worry, without time. I didn't notice the passage of time, but when the rare moment came that I was aware of this, I wondered not why I was here, or how to get back to reality. _It's so nice here,_ I thought._ No pain, no worry. I want to just stay here..._ But then a more frightening thought comes: _Am I dead? Is this death?_ Eventually, these thoughts invaded more and more the serenity of my little abyss. My refuge from the world. Invaded. But the more I fought it, the more I was thinking. _Am I dead. Is this all?_ Soon, flashes of white invaded my refuge, flashes of rememberance. I soon realised this wasn't real. It may be my mind but it's not real. _I need to get out of this. _As if on que, my peaceful black abyss opened up in a fury of color and sound. After an angonizing moment, I can feel the real world around me, my breath in my ears, leaves rattling on the ground.

I open my eyes slowly, squinting them agianst the bright light of noon. As my eyes slowly adjusted, I realised it wasn't actually noon, it was the light from a street lamp. I felt tired, and I didn't quite know why. I lifted my head, ignoring the pain, to take in my surroundings. I was in a mountian of cardboard boxes, with one exit, and numerous holes in the top, leading to other boxes. I tried to swivel my head to see what was behind me, but it hurt so much that I had to give up, so I gingerly set my head down on the ground. I swiveled my ears back, and they brushed cardboard. So I was at the back, nothing behind me. There was a bulky black cat at the enterance, sleeping. I tried to lift my head, call out for help, but once I tried, blackness swarmed my vision, and I was in the black abyss once more. But it wasn't black.

There were pictures of memories, like photographs, if you will. Pictures of my sister, my brothers, as kits. The way they will always stay. Same with my parents, the way I will always remember them; happy, purring, enjoying life, and enjoying each other. Not like later. Then comes Red. The first Red, my first friend after my family was killed. He saw me on the streets, cold, lonely, hungry, exhausted. Why did he take me in? It's suicide on the streets of Salem. Others might try and kill you, from jealousy, or just plain because it's agianst some unspoken rule, not to take anyone in. Learn to survive by yourself. But we survived. More than one time, we had to flee from attackers jumping off the stone and mud buildings. I remember learning to find water. Now, as if called, a new memory came up, but it was more like a movie...

_Red laughed at a joke I can't remember. I was laughing, too. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw something shimmering in the middle of the street; water! Red forgotton, I dashed over to the puddle. I was about to drink from it when I jerked back and studied it, cautiously. It was a bit muddy, but that's okay, I'm used to that. So what... ? There! _There was a flash of the rainbow on the water._ Good thing I didn't drink from that. It has oil in it. Red padded up to me? "What gives?" Then he sees me eyeing the water. "Ah, water. Why'd you leave for _that?_ I looked at him as if he had bees in his brain. "Because it's water, that's why!" Red purred. "So? You still haven't figured out how to get water plentifully, have you." I tipped my head. "Is that possible?" Red purred agian. "Of course, follow me!" He trotted off, and I followed. Presently we arrived at a cactus. I stared at him, suprised. "We're supposed to get water from _this_? He chuckled. "Like this!" He unsheiths his claws and lifts up his paw. Then he brings it whooshing down to... My mother's neck. The memory changed. It was still Red's paw, but it was moving in slow motion, as if through water. My mother, on the ground, was exhausted, and couldn't fight anymore. She looked on grimly, ready for death. I leapt, screaming. I seemed to be able to move as fast as normal, though. I stood over my mother, protecting her. She looked up at me, kindness in her gentle eyes. "Don't give up. Wake up, now. Do it for me." Then her voice seemed to transform into all the voices I knew in my life, singular, and yet many all the same. "Go, now." I wanted to wail, plead like a little kit. "But how!" Her eyes softened, and she was about to answer, when Red's paw came down on my neck. My world exploded in a flash of red, then darkened._

For the longest time, I was in that cold, black abyss agian, but with no memories to keep me company. Then I was aware of a sound. A faint rustling, like... leaves! I was awake. I creaked open my eyes, waiting for them to adjust to the light. Then I called out, "Water!" The large black tabby at the jumped, suprised, then turned around to me. The tom padded up to me. "Buddy, you okay?" I coughed. No, I wasn't okay, supid! "I-I'm really thirsty." He nodded. "I'll get you something. Hang on there. I'll also bring Reverend." I nodded, but before he left, I realised something. "Wait." I called. He glanced back. "Who's Reverend?" He paused for a moment. "He's like Shatter." I nodded. I got it. He nodded too, and left. Reverend must be their leader. I rolled the word around in my mouth. Reh-verh-end. I heard that before. But where... ?

I shook my head; it doesn't matter. Probably in the streets... again, no matter. The bulky black tom returned with a dripping moss ball, and the old cat that found me after the battle. Looking at my disheveled state, the old tom blinked sympathetically. He nodded towards the black tom. "Leave that here now and leave, please, Matthew." I blinked. Matthew left. "Matthew?" The old tom turned to me. "Matthew's an... odd name." The old tom nodded. "Yes, but it... he was a kittypet, and his owners were something called Christians. Anyway, that's a popular name with Christians." I nodded; I hadn't heard of Christians, but a name's a name. It sounded like something I heard in Salem once. "So... you're Reverend?" The old tom nodded. "So you're in charge here?" Reverend seemed hesitant. "I... am influential, yes." He is the leader, I realized. He just didn't want to admit it. "So... what's this group about? You call it... Rouges United? How exactly are you united, if you're the leader, -and yes; you're the leader-, so, how are you united, exactly?"

Reverend paused. "We are... united, in the form that we all make the discisions, jointly." Something seemed wrong with this. "But as you said, you're largely influential. You're the leader, you have the final say. So what's keeping you from overriding their choice?" Reverend chose to change the subject. "So. How come you were fighting us?" Now it was my turn to pause. He purred. "We're not stupid. You have the mark of BloodClan; why were you fighting us?" I muttered "Because Shatter saw need to." There was an awkward pause; he kept himself busy with something in the corner. I re-started the conversation. "Why did you save me? You didn't need to." Reverend replied quickly. "BloodClan or no, you're a fellow cat, and we needed..." I finished his scentance with contempt. "A prisioner?" Reverend sighed and turned to me. He looked truly saddened. "Yes, a prisioner. Something to bargin with Shatter." Now _that_ suprised me.

I did a double take. "You think Shatter would respond to a bargin because of _me_? I know you're not stupid. He doesn't care about the individual. Not unless they're family." Reverend flicked his tail. "They came for you, you know. They sent a patrol to find you, see if you were alive." At first I was happy; they remembered me! Then I became wary. "And I know that this really happened... how?" Reverend chuckled. "You'll just have to take my word for it." He then mewed," Are you in pain?" I took stock of myself. Could move my tail, twitch my ears... and the rest, I had a hard time moving, and when I finally did, black threatened my vision. I finally responded,"Yeah." He rolled a ball of moss to me. "Drink." I sniffed it. It smelt funny, but then... I licked a couple of drops, and I felt the pain ease away. A couple more drops, and- darkness. Agian.

I felt a paw nudge me in the side. I groaned and turned over, and then was jolted awake by the pain. I opened my eyes, and saw a blurry golden pelt, surrounded by blackness. My vision cleared, and Sand was leaning over me, concerned. "Are you okay, bud?" I groaned in response. I tried to speak, but my words were slurred. I tried agian. "Do I look okay?" Sand sighed. "Well, atleast you're alive. Do you need anything?" I tried to growl, but it came out as a moan. "Not from a spy." Sand's eyes widen. "H-How'd you... I... I..." I cut him off spitefully. "How'd I... you... you... You. You spied on your comrade. On your friend. On your... "I paused. "On your brother. I'll tell you what you did. You betrayed my trust. You betrayed the trust of your friends, and your actions lead to the death of many of your friends... and mine."

Sand couldn't speak. He kept on working his jaw, as if trying to speak, but nothing came out. Finally, he mewed "I... I'm sorry." I rolled my eyes. "You're sorry, huh? Sorry doesn't replace spilled blood. Sorry doesn't bring the dead to life. Sorry don't do s***. You say sorry, and expect me to _forgive_ you? Not even close." Sand sighed. "I didn't know it'd lead to a battle. Honest!" I sighed. "And I should belive a Rouges United cat... why?" Sand's eyes hardened. "Hey! BloodClan's the decietful violent ones. Like you. Why should I be helping you? Heck, why should I even be talking to you?" I exploded in anger. "You _shouldn't_ be talking to me! You should be in your den, sleeping with the rest of your little group! No, I take that back. You should have died in the first big battle with the Clans. You don't deserve to exist. Don't worry, though. I'll fix that." I tried to get up, but it seemed like my legs wouldn't support me. They wobbled for a moment like jelly, then collapsed as I lurched forward. However, I flashed out a paw and sliced Sand on the nose. He stood there, stunned, as I lay on the ground, panting. I looked up. "There, a little thing to remember me by. Now, off with you!" Sand nodded silently, and turned away, ears back and tail down. I wave of remose hit me like a brick. Did I do the right thing? Or did I push away my only way out of here?

I shake my head; It's already done; no use crying over it.


End file.
